I started wearing hijab almost immediately after my conversion to Islam. I was in a rush to be the “best Muslim I could be”. At the time, I didn’t realize I was setting myself up for failure. Immediately after adopting the hijab, I was slammed with hardship. After much reflection, I’ve cultivated list of things I wish I knew before wearing hijab with the hopes that I could ease the burden of any hijabi hopeful.
1. Your wardrobe doesn’t define you.
Before, during, and after my conversion, hijab was all anyone could talk about.
“Are you going to wear hijab?”
“When are you going to wear hijab?”
“Have you thought about wearing hijab?”
All of the emphasis and attention on my wardrobe created a false sense of urgency. Unfortunately, I had no one in my life to simply state the obvious: Wearing hijab doesn’t make you a Muslim. Not wearing hijab doesn’t make you a non-Muslim. Now before the fatwa hurlers get up in arms, let me clarify. I’m not devaluing hijab in any way, shape or form. I’m asserting that hijab isn’t simply a wardrobe change. It is a modest way of life, and an act of submission. A solid foundation of faith is much more important than covering your hair. Praying, fasting, and charity form the proverbial horse that pulls the cart. Looking back, I wish I would have let my heart and soul catch up to my scarf adorned head.
2. Hijab draws a lot of attention.
Again, this seems like a no-brainer, but give me a break I was only twenty-two. I had no idea that the addition of some extra cloth to my wardrobe would change my social life overnight. The well-intentioned and curious questioners outweighed the creeps, but I still wasn’t prepared for the spike in attention. After swapping my uncovered Facebook photos for ones in hijab, people came out of the woodwork to ask “Why?”. I was approached by strangers on the subway, while shopping, and even in restaurants. I had no idea how one small bit of fabric could hold such weight, even to those that don’t believe in it.
3. The purpose of hijab.
I didn’t really study about hijab too much before adopting it. I just thought “It’s what you do”. At the time, modesty to me was wearing anything that didn’t let your boobs hang out. When I actually began to study modesty, I realized the depths of the concept.
Most people refer to hijab as a way to “prevent fitnah (temptation)” for men, which is ‘mansplaining’ of the highest order. First of all, any woman that has lived in the Middle East knows that hijab doesn’t prevent sexual harassment, assault, rape, flirting or anything else. Hijab isn’t for other people.
Ironically, a Mormon lady I met described it best:
“A physical reminder, kept close, that represents your commitment to God.”
Now that’s what I call purpose.
4. What is hijab?
Even within Muslim countries, the definition varies. For some “hijab” encompasses niqab, gloves, and strict gender segregation. Others believe it is an antiquated cultural practice.. And there are a million shades of belief in between.
In my first few years of being Muslim, I allowed myself to be bullied into outfits that I didn’t feel comfortable. Full disclosure – I hate abayas. Unless we are talking Islamic Design House sporty jilbabs, I don’t want it. I need my jeans. And skirts. And bright colors. Oh, how I love the bright colors.
“That is not hijab.” is a pretty common bit of ‘advice’ given to Muslim women. If you are covering your hair, but not your neck. If you are wearing a long t-shirt and jeans. If you are wearing a bright colored scarf and jilbab. If you are wearing a sparkly abaya. If you are wearing make up, or a nose ring, or a Halloween mask.
Be well-researched and confident in your choices. It is your wardrobe, your faith, and your life.
5. Being “visibly Muslim” changes your behavior.
Wearing hijab made me a ‘foreigner’ in my own country. It’s created a physical barrier between my past and present, as well as my private and public self. No longer can I fly under the radar, incognito.
I am seen – no longer one of the crowd.
Has this affected my behavior? You betcha. I am much more conscientious of my actions, speech, and appearance. Why? Because I know that people will misguidedly associate everything I do with my religion. As a convert the stakes are higher – I’m always a conduit of interfaith dialogue. In changing my faith, burden and blessing came with the choice. Years later, I’m well-versed in the art of middle ground. I just wish someone would have warned me that the role chooses you, not the other way around.
Despite the hardship, I love wearing hijab. It makes me feel elegant and closer to God. And in the end, that’s the most important thing anyway.
♥
Hijab is an Arabic word meaning barrier or partition. In Islam, however, it has a broader meaning. It is the principle of modesty and includes behavior as well as dress for both males and females. The most visible form of hijab is the head covering that many Muslim women wear. Hijab however goes beyond the head scarf.

Different types of hijab.
“Wearing hijab made me a ‘foreigner’ in my own country. It’s created a physical barrier between my past and present, as well as my private and public self. ” – reading this made my heart hurt for you. I have cousins who do hijab and I know the transition is not easy. They would also have people constantly tell them how it is either too much or not good enough. It’s not fair at all. Everyone lives according to their personal beliefs and I applaud you for your choices.
I always wonder why people make such a big deal about a bit if extra cloth. I’m so lucky that where I live people don’t care if you wear hijab or not. I remember working in a shop with twins. one decided to wear the hijab. All the old English ladies who shopped there gave her so many conpliments. It was lovely. May we all meet people like this and not the bad ones Inshallah.
Masha Allah I really enjoyed reading it, sister. You’re a brilliant writer.
It reminded me of myself when I first started wearing hijab + niqaab. I was a stranger in my own family.
But then again, I dont give a hoot.
Well err, that was 18 years ago, Alhamdulillah
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Hijab is modesty & modesty is the best jewel of a woman. SubhanAllah. Also, it’s the crown of a muslimah <3 Nice post!
”The well-intentioned and curious questioners outweighed the creeps”- LOL! #5 is awesome, couldn’t agree more. A hijabi is seen as a representative of Islam and what you do wearing a hijab matter.
Hijab in general and the scarf on the head is important. But you have to be ready for it. I only started wearing it about 3 years ago properly and it is still a constant struggle.
But you are right..it isn’t just about the head covering…its all about the way we behave to.
Living in a Muslim country saves you from so many struggles like this one. Honestly I can’t imagine myself going through all this because it really hurts. I really feel sad about what you went through. I don’t know why people can’t respect and do their own thing instead of pointing towards others. May Allah make everything easy for you❤
“A physical reminder, kept close, that represents your commitment to God.” This indeed is a perfect description of Hijab and definitely what hijab means to me as well. It’s not uncommon for some people to judge others but seeing someone wear hijab somehow gives them a license to become “hijab police” and point out what’s the right way to do it. I don’t think they realize how big this commitment is and it comes with its own difficulties. There are different aspects of religion we all struggle with but that doesn’t mean that we give up on them altogether, we keep striving and trying to please Allah. The only difference with this aspect of religion is that hijab can be seen. I hope such people would be a bit more sensitive and if they can’t be encouraging then I hope they don’t criticize and discourage others either. May Allah make it easy for you and all of us, Ameen.
This is such a thought provoking post – especially for those thinking of wearing it – and those who currently do – why are we actually wearing it? It’s lovely to refresh our intentions and it helps putting things back into perspective of its more than just a cloth- jazakAllah Khayr for sharing!
HIJAB DRAWS A LOT OF ATTENTION. I can relate to it…as being in a country and place where hijab wearing people are very few…you get easily identified by many…..it is good sometimes…but quiet embarrassing yet times…
Hijab is not just a piece of clothing it’s a lifestyle. I hope we learn to carry it in the best way possible
Hi, K.T. I read your story in Toastmasters magazine and had to check out your site. I have spent a lot of time living and working in the Middle East and will follow your blog to walk alongside you.
Sandra, thank you so much for joining me! Where in the Middle East were you living? 🙂