It takes a lot for me to think badly of a person. Generally, I try and give second, third, and fourth – more like one hundred – chances before I view someone as an unhealthy companion. Although this might sound sweet, cute, or a nice way to be, I assure you it isn’t.
Time after time, I get wrapped up into drama of my own making, because for the life of me I can’t just put my foot down and say no. Whispers of self-doubt constantly surround my assumptions.
“Maybe you are wrong about them.”
“Aren’t you being too sensitive?”
“I’m sure they mean well.”
Instead of stopping things immediately at my first pangs of discomfort, I giggle, forgive, and lets things pass. Until, I’m miserable and hopeless. Currently, the leech attached to my leg is a colleague of mine. He asked for a ride to work a couple of times. No big deal, we live in the same neighborhood right?
Then he wanted me to drop him off in front of his house, because his gout was acting up. Sure, why not? That’s the nice thing to do!
Twice a week he asked me to drop him off at the grocery store instead of going home. Well, I can get groceries.
Three months later, I’m still giving him rides to work. I got curious one day, and asked him why he didn’t know how to drive. I figured, he might have epilepsy or had a traumatic experience behind the wheel. His response proved that I’m a sucker. Not only does he know how to drive, but he’s just bought a new car. It keeps his Porsche from getting lonely in a three-car garage in the United States.
I’ve put gas into the car several times without him offering a riyal. A discussion about a month ago led to him promising to give me 900 SAR a month for the car, but he hasn’t brought it up since. Last week, I texted him and asked him to give me some money. His response was, “Sure, just show me a receipt and we’ll talk.” My insides aflame, I swallowed my true feelings and attempted to have an adult conversation.
Throughout my twenties, I’ve encountered people like this. People only interested in themselves, and in what I could provide them. I’ve learned to counteract the emotional distress caused by these vampires, but I haven’t quite found the courage to drive a stake into anyone’s heart. I guess that’s what my thirties are for…slaying.
♥
Food me once, shame on you; Fool me twice, shame on me is the quote that I found helpful to overcome doubt and stop being exploited by people. Draw your boundaries with for different relationships and stick to it. it won’t be easy the first few times but you’ll get there insha Allah.
the guy should really behave like a grown up now, this situation reminds me of my friend she can never say no to anyone. sometimes getting out of your comfort zone can teach people some valuable lesson.
Omg…such a powerful quote….it is difficult sometimes to judge….but it will not be that difficult too….
Oh you sound so much like me! That’s the kind of thing I do and then get taken advantage of totally. Put your foot down girl and say you aren’t taking him anymore!
This is terrible and so selfish of him. I’ve been through similar situations but I’ve learnt my lesson. Please don’t let people take undue advantage of your kindness. I hope you settle this issue soon.
Oh wow! I can so relate to this – you forgive and forgive and then one day you just can’t take it! Think my 30s are all about slaying too. I could really relate to this – thanks for sharing – I’m in Saudi too btw 🙂
Gosh how awful! You sound like me SubhanAllah. Your reward is with Allah <3
Drawing is a line is extremely important for self preservation! Be it a colleague, a friend or even family! There is no way someone should be allowed o become a parasite!