Since I arrived in the Kingdom, my lifestyle has varied quite a bit. When I was in Riyadh, I felt like I was being jostled in between two pieces of concrete. The epitome of desert, Riyadh is a harsh and jagged stretch of emptiness. It is a barren landscape that houses a paradox — the coexistence of a murderous sun and persistent bloom. While living there I bounced between extremes — the joy and thrill of brand new experience and the crushing weight of conservative culture.
After living in Riyadh, Al Khobar seemed like an oasis. I savored my freedom of movement and the slightly Westernized atmosphere (otherwise known as the ‘Aramco effect’). Crowds peppered with colored scarves and smiling faces made me feel like a welcome traveler, as opposed to an uninvited guest.
I’ve since moved ‘on-camp’ into Saudi Aramco housing, and it’s as if my days of living in the Kingdom are long gone. I’m bound by gates that are designed to ‘keep things out’, but instead keep us in. Impermanence has replaced comfort and luxury. No longer am I building a life on desert sand– I’m funding one elsewhere.
To live as part of the Saudi community, to see behind those villa walls isn’t a common experience. Although it wasn’t for me, I’m grateful for it. But, that part of my life is over, and I’m behind a new set of walls. I know that I will never truly belong to Saudi Arabia again. I’ve elected to be a part of the outsiders. I’m not longer a ‘lifer’ and I’m at peace with that. However, I’ve spent five years of my life in this place and I will never be able to erase its mark upon me.
The lives of my friends and acquaintances still mirror my old life, the one I left behind. I used to be on the other side of the fence, gazing outward into the horizon towards a similar and shared future. Now we’re on borrowed time. It is possible that I’m being sensitive, but I feel as if a rift has opened up in the distance.
One day, it will be time for me to leave the Kingdom. I don’t know when it will happen, nor where I will go. Just the existence of that day has transformed friendships, and despite the fact that my choices led me here –it still hurts. It hurts in the way I know it has to, because this is what growth feels like. The momentum I gained from starting over still pulls me forward, and I trust it. When the comes time, I’ll know. And let go. Forever.
Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this. Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I look forward to your new updates.
We love love love Oman and actually have bought an apartment there that will be finished in August. We were in Muscat twice and saw sea turtles too! BUT Salalah! Oh yeah, black mussels growing on rocks, we waded out to get a sackful and cook them in our hotel apartment in Jewaira boutique hotel. Stars! The sky is full of stars. Oh yeah go to the fish market bye whatever’s fresh , walk 20 feet have them BBQ it for you, while you wait walk another 20 feet and get some cooked rice etc. from a restaurant. Eat this there at a picnic table or anywhere. Oh yeah baby goats and camels along the roads, get food, bread fruit whatever, feed them from the car they eat anything be sure to bye bahoor incense at the soup We love Oman!
Gail
One week in Oman wasn’t enough! I hope I will be able to return soon insha’Allah 😁
as girls wearing those hats that are created to look like animal heads: not at all.|A desire to rebel against such a buttoned-up ethos leaves the white girl desperate for an identity
hats that look like animal heads?
white girl desperate for an identity?
Not sure I get ya there. I love your judgement. It reveals much more about you than me.
An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a little analysis on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast because I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to discuss this, I feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If possible, as you become expertise, would you mind updating your blog with more details? It is highly helpful for me. Big thumb up for this blog post!
I have followers your blog for some time now and even the past blog you had. I don’t know if I’m missing something in between reads or if it’s kept personal. Did you remarry again or still married to your saudi husband? I have searched and found nothing.
I’m excited to find this great site. I need to to thank you for ones time just for
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